Thursday, January 19, 2012

every liberation is unique.

Every person is unique, every liberation is unique.
There may be parallels (or not) between your experience and mine. 
For me it was a subtle, gradual awakening.
Which probably says more about brain conditioning, habit than awakening.
i spent over 40 years trying to 'think' myself into a fantasy called enlightenment.
Part of the fantasy was that there would be a 'sonic boom' when it happened. 
Oh! the relief that would occur with such a definite knowing. 
Looking back it was probably that orgasmic release that would come with 'knowing', that i anticipated mostly. 
When i accepted that there was a 'crack' that i could look through and see 'it', i also accepted how 'ordinary' it all is. This then led on to a state where a 'bleed in' through that 'crack' facilitated a seeing that 'What is in my direct experiencing, is all that IS' and that everything else is part of a story, it is not real - to me)

A Realisation...

It just came to me, or more accurately, Thoughts arose that there is no need to work anything out any more.
There is a relaxation that says 'what needs to be known is shown when needed'
As this is being written, tears well up. Tears of a beautiful release. What a weight off ! No need to collect knowledge anymore. No need to consider how good i am at certain tasks.
Knowledge will be collected Of Course, but it won't be a chore that is a statement about how good i am. It will be knowledge that sticks as i brush past it. Natural curiosity of the organism will be its propellant.